From left to right, Steve, Graham, Mags, Karen, Judith. Some of our real good friends.
We had a day of fun!
All was well.
Graham hung himself yesterday!
Why?
I'm so sorry to hear this. My family and neighbours lived a similar ordeal a month ago. You can never understand why. You can only hope that whatever the reason was, they are now at peace with themselves.
What a dreadful shock for you and everyone who knew him. We can never know what's going on inside people's heads. Everyone puts on "the act" when in company - and indeed, often manage to forget their trouble, however briefly. When you think of Graham, remember all the fun and the good times. Whatever made him feel his life wasn't worth living, he should now be at peace. Remember the happiness. ((Hugs))
Denise, I am so sorry for the lose of your friend. Dragonstar and misskoolaid have the right of it. I hope his family is able to cope. My deepest sympathy to you and to his family.
I'm truly sorry to hear this and I will say a prayer for you. Last year our nephew who was 16 at this time hung him self. In so many ways we ask our self "why" and "what could I done"
That is awful. We never know another's mind, to see such a happy image then read the text is perplexing. I am so sorry for your loss. Your'e such a caring person and this is such an awful shame.
I confess, I have a suicide attempt, a serious and nearly 'sucessful' one, on my medical records.
Whatever you do, don't go into the "what could we have done?" or "Didn't he know we loved him?" torturous thoughts.
When I was/am that low it wasn't that I didn't know that there were some who loved me (so don't berate yourselves if you didn't tell him), it was that (1)I was totally convinced that they would be better off without me anyway; and (2) I believed that if they knew what mental pain I was going through, if they loved me, they wouldn't want me to go through it any longer.
Of course, I now know that the answer to that last one is yes, they wouldn't have wanted me to go through it, but they would have wanted to help me if had known. I just hope I remember this if that abyss comes back to me again.
Being online is an enormous help. Email contact, and more recently blogs, are a support I didn't have before, just by being a contact out of the glass dome around you that depression becomes.
I'm sorry for your friend's loss, Denise. I hope he's in peace now. As my mothers says, the heart is a place where is hard to walk on. Sometimes it's hard to understnd what's inside. Only he knew about it. Light him a candle in open air and send him your love.
Julie and I wish to send our thougts and prayers to Graham's wife. Also to you and your hubby also all friends. Tis a terrible thing, poor man - you wonder what goes on in their minds when its sudden.
Oh dear...About 10 years ago we went to a picnic of volunteer firefighters and welcomed a new member. We played Trivial Pursuit with he and his wife and he went home and hung himself. My daughter's Ph.D psychology dissertation was on depression and coping strategies. Women are much more likely to reach out, men don't. She found that depression in men lead to suicide much more often that in women.. I am so sorry for your loss..
Oh Denise! I am SO sorry for all of you, especially Judith! What an awful shock. You know that I understand what Judith's going through right now so be there for her as I know you will be. She'll need you for a long time to come. Even though I've been through it myself, there is just nothing anyone can do or say to help. Just know I'm here praying for you all.
Denise, omigosh, that is terrible! Indeed you must all be asking why.
You know, looking at him in that photo, he has his head down and he looks sad and sort of detached. Whatever was going on with him, he was not able to share it.
Oh Lord ... how tragic. I am so sorry .. for you, for his other friends, and most of all for his family, especially his poor widow.
It's so hard not to play the 'I should have ... ' game, but it's fruitless and destructive. I just hope that you all can lean on each other and comfort one another as you work through the grief.
Denise I am so sorry. We will never know why. Only he knows why. What I do know is the devastation it leaves behind. Let yourself grieve. Thinking of you and prayers sent your way. (((( hugging Denise ))))))
I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I went through something similar a couple years ago where my best friend and I had spent an absolutely perfect day together and then that night she took an overdose. My father said you can never reason what's going on in a person's irrational mind because you're trying to figure things out with rational thinking. My friend survived but it's mystifying to me how someone could be so selfish and completely disregard the feelings of the people who loved them. But then again, I'm coming at it from a completely different viewpoint. I know my friend was in pain and had reached a point where she felt she could not go on. I kept reviewing our day to see if there were any signals. None. Had I not spent enough time with her? No. There was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent what had happened. However, it took me several years to arrive to that realization and belief. I am so, so sorry for your friend. I don't know how she's going to figure out a way to reconcile that last image with her whole life with her husband. There really was nothing she could have done to prevent the suicide. That's what makes it so frustrating and so sad. People who commit suicide have no idea what devastation they leave behind. I think they just get to a point where they can only focus on their own pain.
We can only truly know ourselves - not anyone else in this world.
I know when I was depressed (and I was never suicidal) no-one had any idea at all. They thought I was fine. That was not a failing on their part at all.
This is so very sad. As others have commented, we never really know what causes someone to reach the sort of despair that makes them end it all. My condolences to his wife. So awful.
Denise I am thinking of you and the broad circle of people around you that this will affect. I cannot begin to even think of hoe you are all feeling. Just be there for each other. Life is so very precious
From left to right, Steve, Graham, Mags, Karen, Judith. Some of our real good friends.
We had a day of fun!
All was well.
Graham hung himself yesterday!
Why?
29 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear this. My family and neighbours lived a similar ordeal a month ago. You can never understand why. You can only hope that whatever the reason was, they are now at peace with themselves.
My sympathies to you, his family and friends.
Sophie
What a dreadful shock for you and everyone who knew him.
We can never know what's going on inside people's heads. Everyone puts on "the act" when in company - and indeed, often manage to forget their trouble, however briefly.
When you think of Graham, remember all the fun and the good times. Whatever made him feel his life wasn't worth living, he should now be at peace.
Remember the happiness.
((Hugs))
I'm so very sorry Denise. Words just fail at a time like this. I wish I could just give you and your friends a big hug.
{{{Hugs}}}
Sue
I second Dragonstar's comment. Remembering the good times is the only thing to do. Whatever you do, don't reproach yourself.
Hi
A beautiful place here!
Excellent post with Family!
have a good day
This is not Spam. It is a campaign against the abuse of children.
Thank you
Denise, I am so sorry for the lose of your friend. Dragonstar and misskoolaid have the right of it. I hope his family is able to cope. My deepest sympathy to you and to his family.
Denise
My deepest sympathy to you and to Graham's family for your loss.
I am adding all of you to my prayer list.
Bear((( )))
I'm truly sorry to hear this and I will say a prayer for you.
Last year our nephew who was 16 at this time hung him self.
In so many ways we ask our self "why" and "what could I done"
That is awful. We never know another's mind, to see such a happy image then read the text is perplexing. I am so sorry for your loss. Your'e such a caring person and this is such an awful shame.
Death always come as a shock to those left behind.
I'm sorry Denise, that you have lost a valued friend.
Love & a hug
Blue
OMG.
I'm so sorry to hear this news.
I confess, I have a suicide attempt, a serious and nearly 'sucessful' one, on my medical records.
Whatever you do, don't go into the "what could we have done?" or "Didn't he know we loved him?" torturous thoughts.
When I was/am that low it wasn't that I didn't know that there were some who loved me (so don't berate yourselves if you didn't tell him), it was that (1)I was totally convinced that they would be better off without me anyway; and (2) I believed that if they knew what mental pain I was going through, if they loved me, they wouldn't want me to go through it any longer.
Of course, I now know that the answer to that last one is yes, they wouldn't have wanted me to go through it, but they would have wanted to help me if had known. I just hope I remember this if that abyss comes back to me again.
Being online is an enormous help. Email contact, and more recently blogs, are a support I didn't have before, just by being a contact out of the glass dome around you that depression becomes.
I'm sorry for your friend and for you.
))))hugs((((
Just checking in love, to make sure you're OK.
Thanks everybody for the words you have shared, they are so helpful and have been a wonderful source of support.
Judith, his wife is in a dreadful state as she found him, hanging in the garage.
Thanks again.
Dxxxx
I'm sorry for your friend's loss, Denise. I hope he's in peace now. As my mothers says, the heart is a place where is hard to walk on. Sometimes it's hard to understnd what's inside. Only he knew about it. Light him a candle in open air and send him your love.
Kisses from Nydia.
Julie and I wish to send our thougts and prayers to Graham's wife.
Also to you and your hubby also all friends.
Tis a terrible thing, poor man - you wonder what goes on in their minds when its sudden.
Oh dear...About 10 years ago we went to a picnic of volunteer firefighters and welcomed a new member. We played Trivial Pursuit with he and his wife and he went home and hung himself. My daughter's Ph.D psychology dissertation was on depression and coping strategies. Women are much more likely to reach out, men don't. She found that depression in men lead to suicide much more often that in women.. I am so sorry for your loss..
Oh Denise! I am SO sorry for all of you, especially Judith! What an awful shock. You know that I understand what Judith's going through right now so be there for her as I know you will be. She'll need you for a long time to come. Even though I've been through it myself, there is just nothing anyone can do or say to help. Just know I'm here praying for you all.
Denise, omigosh, that is terrible! Indeed you must all be asking why.
You know, looking at him in that photo, he has his head down and he looks sad and sort of detached. Whatever was going on with him, he was not able to share it.
My condolonces to his family and friends!
I'm very touched by your post.
Don't find words of comfort with this so awful tragedy.
Love you chose that Bob Dylan 's song. A wonderful tribute.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you all in my prayers. Especially his wife, Judith, I can't even imagine her pain. God bless.
Oh Lord ... how tragic. I am so sorry .. for you, for his other friends, and most of all for his family, especially his poor widow.
It's so hard not to play the 'I should have ... ' game, but it's fruitless and destructive. I just hope that you all can lean on each other and comfort one another as you work through the grief.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Denise I am so sorry.
We will never know why. Only he knows why. What I do know is the devastation it leaves behind.
Let yourself grieve.
Thinking of you and prayers sent your way.
(((( hugging Denise ))))))
What a tragedy, denise, My prayers are with you.
Denise, this is such a tragedy. My heart goes out to you all. Sending you {{HUGS}}
You can never truly know what goes on inside peoples heads. M
My sincere condolances to his family and friends.
{{hugs}}
I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I went through something similar a couple years ago where my best friend and I had spent an absolutely perfect day together and then that night she took an overdose. My father said you can never reason what's going on in a person's irrational mind because you're trying to figure things out with rational thinking. My friend survived but it's mystifying to me how someone could be so selfish and completely disregard the feelings of the people who loved them. But then again, I'm coming at it from a completely different viewpoint. I know my friend was in pain and had reached a point where she felt she could not go on. I kept reviewing our day to see if there were any signals. None. Had I not spent enough time with her? No. There was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent what had happened. However, it took me several years to arrive to that realization and belief. I am so, so sorry for your friend. I don't know how she's going to figure out a way to reconcile that last image with her whole life with her husband. There really was nothing she could have done to prevent the suicide. That's what makes it so frustrating and so sad. People who commit suicide have no idea what devastation they leave behind. I think they just get to a point where they can only focus on their own pain.
We can only truly know ourselves - not anyone else in this world.
I know when I was depressed (and I was never suicidal) no-one had any idea at all. They thought I was fine. That was not a failing on their part at all.
I am so very sorry.
This is so very sad.
As others have commented, we never really know what causes someone to reach the sort of despair that makes them end it all.
My condolences to his wife.
So awful.
Denise I am thinking of you and the broad circle of people around you that this will affect. I cannot begin to even think of hoe you are all feeling. Just be there for each other. Life is so very precious
xxC
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