August 13th is well and truly etched in my memory as it was on this day in 1986 my dad died. Every year I find myself thinking back to the day when I was standing at a bus stop in Nottingham and the policeman told me he had a message for me to contact Guisborough Police Station. I knew straight away what had happened as Dad had suffered a major heart attack some years before and we lived with the worry that one day it wold come back to take him, which it did.
I returned home immediately and my life changed dramatically. Being an only child I knew my job was to look after mum. I got a new teaching job and a few months later I met Jon.
I always wanted Dad to be proud of me and I know he was. I still miss him and mum enormously. I still feel their pressence and the values and expectations they shared with me remain in the very marrow of my bones.
Something happened yesterday which I feel is significant to the time and date right now.
I dont wear much jewellery as I usually have my hands in some project or other, but normally I wear my Dad's signet ring on my little finger of my right hand and my wedding ring in the usual wedding ring place. Jon does not wear any jewellery at all as he operates machinery and feels it is not safe to wear anything which could cause a finger r a limb to be in danger. Last week we collected a filing cabinet through freecycle, as we were lifting it upstairs I dropped it onto the stair and it bashed my little finger so hard that it bent my ring in such a way it could have stopped the bloodflow to my finger. I panicked and as Jon ran to get some tool or other I managed to use soap and get the ring off which Jon then straightened. A few days later, in Jon's workshop I was on one of the machines, just lifting something up when I felt the ring snag on something. I felt it pull my finger. The thought ran through my mind that really I shouldn't wear the ring when at the workshop. Two or three times during this past week the same thing happened.
Yesterday whilst helping my friend Steph with some bedside drawers she had bought at the salerooms I suddenly noticed my ring had gone.....Both Steph and I felt it was meant to be, for my own safety!
My best friend Maria returns home today after a bellydancing holiday in France. Maria has recently lost her partner, Phil. A few weeks ago Phil's daughter Elizabeth graduated and Maria attended the ceremony. Ofcourse it was an emotional time for them both as we all know the pride Phil would have had as he looked on to see this wonderful achievement. Maria had told me how the whole event had been wonderful and had caused her to feel overcome with the emotion. She e-mailed me the picture and as I looked at it I found some words just sort of came along.....so on this day as I am thinking of my Dad and the pride he had in his family I would like to share the words....none have been changed.
Elizabeth with my best friend Maria
I can see why you cried, as you looked on with pride.
Into the eyes of the child.
I can see the pride in your eyes, of the dad who sighed, with pride.
I can see the pride in the eyes of the child of the guide.
I can see the strength of the child of the dad who sighs with pride as he sees his guide and his child.
Both his pride and his joy!
Both he can enjoy as he looks on with pride.
18 comments:
A wonderful tribute, Denise.
A lovely story. Loved ones are never really gone. They live in our hearts.
There is nothing like the father and daughter bond. I too, lost my dad very unexpectedly to a heart attack, 13 years ago and I miss him every day. I'm sure your Dad is watching over you Denise, Kath xx
It's a beautiful tribute and very worthy of you Post of the Day. I hope you find the ring. If you do, put it on a chain and wear it that way.
This is a beautiful post Denise. I am sure that your Dad is looking down on you with pride.
Marie x
Very moving Denise. I still miss my Dad thirty years on and I think of him every day, particularly when I am out taking photos of the countryside. But I know that my Dad lives on in me when I enjoy the countryside - that was his legacy - and I am sure your Dad lives on in you in some ways.
You HAVE written poetry. Both in essay and poems.
My respect for you increases steadily.
I enjoyed reading this Denise, so touching a tribute to your dear Dad.
Whenever I have bacon and tomatoes I have endearing memories of my dear Dad.
He was a terrible cook.
On Saturdays my mum had a job in a local shop so, Dad was left in charge...Mercy!
His signature dish was fried bacon and tomatoes with a sauce of oxo and pepper. He would dish this up on a big wedge of my Gran's homemade bread.
You can imagine what a culinary experience that was!
My Brother and I thought it was marvellous, (we were quite young at the time) and, applauded Dad for his efforts.
Mother, however, was not at all impressed.
When she came home from work, she was looking forward to a supper of bacon and eggs, grilled tomatoes, field mushrooms, runner beans and 'chats',( baby new potatoes), from Grandpa's vegetable garden.
Dearie me!
Father, was unceremoniously ordered to the local fish and chip shop for a more edible supper.
Ah...Golden days!
Di.x
P.S> word verification.. smell!
Wonderfully said in both prose and poetry!
What a very beautiful post. I came over from David's authorblog. Congrats on the Post of the Day Award.
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I stopped by from David McMahon's. Congrats!
An awesome and tender tribute. You have given so much emotion to this post. A wonderful contribution to your Dad, Death and Friends.
Lovely tribute Denise, I'm sorry you lost your Dad's ring but I think he would understand. x
So sad to lose the ring .. but maybe you're right. Perhaps he was looking out for you and knew that wearing it was dangerous?
Oh dear, i cried all the way through this lovely post!!
A jeweller told me the little finger is not designed for rings and that rings worn on that finger will eventually one day be lost!
A lovely post, very moving and sincere. God bless.
CJ xx
You have touched my heart. What a tribute.
Lovely words and a fitting tribute. What an amazing story about your ring - I think your Dad still takes care of you. My Dad died in 1987 and like you I still miss him - he was a lovely man.
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